How Are You Speaking to Yourself?

                One main theme I recognize when working with people is the critical inner voice that my clients allow to deter them from their goals and wreak havoc on their beliefs about themselves. This is a slippery slope for those beliefs in turn then create more of that critical inner voice. How you speak to yourself is important for maintaining an effective mindset and motivation. It will literally guide your brain to what you will continue thinking about. Here are some examples:

Rather than: This is never going to work

Try: How can I get this to work?

Rather than: I will never be able to do this.

Try: This is still a struggle for me, and I continue to improve.

Rather than: This is always terrible.

Try: Is there a way to make this better? What would be an improvement from this?

Rather than: I am ugly, or I am unlovable, or I am damaged.

Try: I am on a journey to fully accept myself or I am a work in progress.

Rather than: I cannot stand this person.

Try: How can I see this from their perspective? What is a commonality I share with this person?

I am hoping you already see where the first idea would only take you down a more negative path, where the second idea opens for exploration. This is not to think your problems magically away, but to think of them in ways that create options rather than more negativity. 

So here is your challenge, watch how you are speaking to yourself and notice if you are creating more negativity or if you are creating opportunities to explore other possible options.