A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime

                Have you heard of this expression? The length of time the people in our lives stick around. Not everyone we meet will be a permanent fixture in our lives and that is okay.

                I had no plans in writing about this topic this week – had a whole different idea, (that will be next week, no worries). However, I thought this topic went very well with my previous post on acceptance. I like to think there is an amount of rhyme and reason that the people who enter our lives do so. There is something about the experience, no matter how fleeting, that is to help us grow and progress on our journey – and sometimes we do not even know what that journey really is.

                Many narratives meet my ears where people get an expectation of the role the people in their lives should serve for them. These expectations often are unhelpful, even hurtful. It can really block what was naturally supposed to happen.  I mean this in the context of friendships, working relationships, romantic relationships – yep, all of the above.

                Rather than having a rigid expectation, rather than trying to control the uncontrollable, embrace the opportunities that come your way knowing experience guides us for the next phase of life. Please, I mean this with due diligence – let us not let anyone and everyone enter our lives willy-nilly. Please, maintain healthy boundaries!

                What exactly is the growth or guidance I speak of? Our reason relationships may be there to provide insight into what we truly desire, what we truly need, or what we may have been overlooking. They are the short burst of energy that may point to a new direction or a new perspective. Maybe it ends abruptly, maybe it ends poorly, or maybe it just ends – the idea is not to ruminate or soak in disappointment of the end, but can you celebrate any of the experience? What made you laugh, what made you smile, or what seemed to unlock what had been shut off?

                Some are around longer – for seasons. They are around for a whole phase in our lives and sometimes that is enough. By no means do I think people should be discarded as their time is up and we can accept when it is time to go in separate directions. Again, what did you enjoy and what did they bring in your life, are much better questions than how could they just be gone.

                Then we have people around for a lifetime – or people who had promised to be there for a lifetime. Spoiler alert – even a lifetime comes to an end, and we lose those people in a physical sense. We get to take the memory, the legacy and carry it with us as our guide.

                I promise I meant this to be up-lifting. That – with due diligence, you can and should embrace the people who come into your life and allow yourself the opportunity to gain the experience for your own growth and guidance – and of course,  you will be part of their growth and guidance allow them this opportunity too!

                In the words of Dr. Seuss – Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened

                Having trouble with grief over an unmet expectation or ended connection?  I can help you reframe it to find the growth opportunity - and yes, I fully understand. 😊